2614. Harry goes up to a prostitute and says, "How much for a blow
She says, "A hundred bucks."
He tries to talk her down, but she won't budge, so he agrees to
pay the hundred. Then he starts to jack off.
She says, "What are you doing that for?"
He says, "For a hundred bucks, do you think I'm gonna give you
the easy one?"
3100. A teacher asked one of the boys in her class, "Can people
predict the future with cards?"
His response was, "My mother can."
The teacher replied, "Really?"
The young boy was quick to explain, "Yes, she takes one look
at my report card and tells me what will happen when my
father gets home."
1225. One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He
stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then
stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock
dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket
in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other
"Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went
While walking he met a fair young lady. She told him she was lost, and
asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to visit my brother
at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this
alley. We'll save half the time to get there".
The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get in to the alley
you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt and ravish me?"
The farmer said, "I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, 2 chickens, and a
goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and
The young lady said, "Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose,
put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.