433. A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun.
"It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you
what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.
"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm
going to shoot him!"

2229. I wish the government would help me get my regular
visitations with my son. He told his mother he wanted to
live with his dad and I haven't seen him in nine months.

466. Chukchas declared a war on China. Chinese had a hard time finding their
location on the map and having found it, sent a delegation to clear the
situation
"How you dare? We are the great China, and you! Do you know that there are
a billion of us!"
"Oh shit, where are we gonna bury you all?"

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